


Not Your Mama's Hallmark Christmas

by SavvyLark



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Euphemisms, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:45:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavvyLark/pseuds/SavvyLark
Summary: Katniss tends to be cynical about materialism, love, and marriage. Her friends have replaced the family she lost. So when Peeta needs help, her friends don’t need more than a strong arm to convince her. Katniss finds herself having a very different  Christmas this year with the Mellark family, posing as Peeta’s girlfriend. What will change when this starts to look like a strange Hallmark movie?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the amazing @javistg being my beta and encouraging.  
> Thank you @peetabreadgirl for your ideas!

The air is thick with affection and laughter. Snow lightly falls, twinkling and tumbling outside the window, echoing the light-hearted mood inside. 

The cynic in me can’t stand the jolly commercialism that the winter season brings. Despite all of this I can’t help but truly enjoy myself when we all get together, as if we are a real family celebrating Christmas.

Madge and Gale’s upscale apartment looks like West Elm meets Martha Stewart's holiday catalog. Spread after spread of delicious and appropriately holiday themed hors d'oeuvre and snacks are on every surface. Wine and seasonal cocktails have been flowing.

“Hey! I don't judge you with your choices in men!” Peeta’s tone is serious, but his expression says otherwise. He’s already 3 spiked eggnogs in, following tradition. 

Finnick, Annie, and Thresh’s new girlfriend, Rue, are laughing around the table as I tease Peeta about his newest ex-girlfriend.

“I'm just saying, with a name like Glimmer? I mean, do shiny objects keep her occupied?” I ask Peeta. 

He winces, but smiles. 

“Is she confessing personal problems with that nickname?” I smirk, as the whole table erupts in laughter. 

Gale and Madge are also pulled out of their own little world leaning near the wet bar. 

Tresh joins us from the kitchen, shaking his head, amused at our usual banter. Thresh hands his girlfriend Rue another egg nog, placing a platter of food in front of us. Always playing host.

Peeta bites his lip to repress his laughter. Ugh, I love and hate when he does that. 

He looks in my eyes and jabs back at me.

“Oh, you're one to talk. A nickname like Marvel didn't give you any clue that you had found your very own Sheldon Cooper?” Peeta's blue eyes twinkle with amusement. 

I scowl, but my eyes reveal the laughter I'm stifling. “Who doesn't like the Marvel movies? I should have known that meant he would be SO into comic books!” I snap back with equal amusement. “And Cosplay.” 

We all chuckle, there's nothing wrong with cosplay, it's just not my scene at all. A hilariously poor match. 

Peeta looks over at Johanna.

“Jo, what was that hipster guy's name you dated, the one who never showered? Bright?” 

Jo scowls, but her eyes prove she's just as amused as we are. “Hey, don't bash a hipster! You’re looking at one.” She winks and continues. “BLIGHT was his name!” 

“I hated that guy!” Thresh adds. 

If our own 6’6” gigantic teddy bear didn’t even like the guy, that's saying something.

Johanna sighs. “He was a disaster! I appreciate a man who has an aversion to anything mainstream, but he used it as a reason to have zero responsibility for anything. Blight, I'm positive he made that name up! Rhymes with flight. That should have been my first clue.” 

She goes on to tells about the time he asked a librarian if they had showers in their bathroom. That’s how Jo promptly left Blight, stranded at the library. 

Chatter continues throughout the room.

Johanna leans her body towards Peeta and pokes his side. “Weelllll, Peeta-bread, what are you going to do for your mom's insane Christmas bash for all the rich snobs without Sparkle for the holidays?” Johanna pries, emphasis on the ridiculous name.

Peeta makes a low growl noise in his throat and shakes his head, raking his fingers through his hair. 

“That's why you started dating Glitter in the first place, right? To get your mean ol’ mommy Mellark off your back?” She's teasing, but some concern is evident in her expression. She cares. Prickly, sarcastic Johanna Mason has always had a soft spot for the people she loves. 

Every one of us knows just how awful Peeta’s mother can be.  
Last year easily takes the cake as being the height of humiliation. Peeta brought up the topic of marriage to his heiress and mother-approved girlfriend of 4 years. Her rejection lead to their break up, and left him a broken man.

Right before a prominent holiday season. 

Peeta's mother was awful to him the entire visit for Christmas. 

Peeta is determined to avoid a repeat.

All of us stayed nearby our college town, hours from our hometowns, for similar broken or dysfunctional family reasons.

Staying together also means having the second family we've found in our friends.

We all went to Panem State together at various points of arrival. Gale, Peeta, and Finnick had been in their 3rd year when Madge and I started. 

Thresh and I were fast friends our freshman year and started regular pizza and movie nights with Madge and Gale, our pseudo family slowly fell into place. 

Johanna was, and still is, my roommate who I met through Peeta and Finnick. 

Sweet Rue, Thresh’s girlfriend, became an easy addition in the last year.

Peeta doesn't answer Johanna’s question. The conversation steers to memorable Christmas parties and ugly sweaters.

Jo smirks at me. “Remember that time--,”

“Oh I remember! Johanna tricked me into wearing the ugliest sweater at a party that WASN'T an ugly sweater party. I thought I was going to win!” I grit my teeth and scowl at the memory.

“Three years in a row!” Johanna adds, to my humiliation. 

I growl. 

I'm met with amused smiles and laughter. 

Finnick delves into a ridiculous story about a friend who was wearing Christmas lights in his ugly sweater and nearly landed him a Darwin Award by electrocution. 

Finnick heroically kicked him in the chest to unplug the lights, but in doing so, he embedded broken bulbs in the guy's chest. 

That party ended with a trip to the ER treating the friend’s electrocution and stitches. 

The details he adds, no one could make up.

Finnick's knack for acquiring stories is phenomenal. We're all in stitches, laughing until our sides hurt. 

“Well, Peet, if you have to go to the party alone, at least Annie and I will be there to take some of the pressure off,” Finnick says to his best friend as Annie hands him his coat. 

Annie’s parents are old friends of the Mellarks, so she's been to their parties since childhood and is well acquainted with how important appearances are, and the pressure Mrs. Mellark puts on her youngest son. 

Behind them is Rue, also carrying 2 coats.

Thresh lifts me into his arms in his signature crushing hug. 

Rue giggles as I make a show of gasping for air. 

The couples continue to exchange their goodbyes, and ‘Merry Christmases’ handing each of us a present and head out of Madge and Gale’s apartment. 

I watch the couples head to the stairs, hand in hand. 

Rue’s warm brown eyes rarely leave Thresh’s face. She smiles softly as he talks to her with such affection. The look in his eyes says Rue is everything. 

I know my friend. He's in love. 

Annie and Finnick are more playful. 

Annie blushes as Finnick whispers in her ear then kisses her cheek. She's pushes him away. Bumps his shoulder a little while their fingers remain entwined. Annie's giggle is infectious and echoes through the stairwell. Again, it's the look Finnick has in his eyes that melts my Grinchly heart. Annie holds his heart for eternity. 

Then, it hits me.

Maybe I do want that some day?

I've never admitted it to myself. 

Everyone knows I have scoffed at love and marriage, probably since the very first boy that caught my eye when I was 16. 

But people change. 

I shrug my shoulders and shut the apartment door, and those thoughts. 

Jo has clearly had too many drinks at this point, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear.  
“I would definitely help you out if I wasn't set on getting my ass to the beach. I just can't stand family gatherings. And, as fun as it would be to piss your mom off, I think you're hoping for someone to take away the attention rather than direct more to you, amiright??” she pauses and shoves Peeta. “I TOLD YOU, ask her!” Johanna whisper-yells in her drunken state. 

Peeta's face is red.

I'm pretty sure at one point Jo skipped the eggnog and has been downing the hard stuff straight. 

Wouldn't be the first time.

I purse my lips and try to think of who ‘her' she’s referring to. 

I've also never understood why his parents make this party such a big deal, but my own parents were very casual about gatherings.

When I had parents anyway. 

Peeta has stressed about this Christmas party every year, but it was after he graduated that he made a point to always bring a girl.

For his mother's sake.

Peeta looks sheepish, sighs and rubs the back of his neck. Then he turns to me. 

Wait, me?

Oh. no. 

I've seen this hallmark movie. 

Okay, calm down, it's just Peeta. Still, I start shaking my head.

Madge gives me this mad-scientist look, raises her eyebrows and I can see her wheels turning now. 

She's gone into planner-mode. 

I know Madge is feeling guilty she can't be there for her cousin Peeta. 

Madge typically attends her Aunt and Uncle’s annual holiday party in Merchant. Had she not organized a charity event for childhood cancer that same weekend she would be.  
It's hard to keep up with her event planning, and it's busiest around the holidays and wedding season. 

Also, being a senator's daughter has expectations of it's own. There are other obligations that she needs to attend. 

I would hate to have to deal with the expectations and pressure Madge has, which she handles with such grace. 

I imagine when Gale does finally pop the question with that ring burning a hole in his pocket the event itself is going to be insane, and the planning will be flawless. 

Madge is very good at what she does. 

I dart back and grab another drink while Madge joins Jo and Peeta to conspire. 

I groan. 

“So Gale, do you have any interesting plans coming up?” I elbow my best friend playfully. 

I have been teasing him for months about asking Madge that daunting, er, I mean magical question. 

I helped Gale pick out the near-colorless solitaire in a rose-gold setting, and I learned more than I ever wanted to about engagement rings that day.

Diamonds haunted the back of my eyelids for days. 

Our cool-calm-and-collected Gale has been a little smug about revealing any engagement plans. Yet he turns into a giddy kid on Christmas morning anytime I mention, or raise my eyebrows in a silent question. 

“Wouldn't you like to know?” Gale teases back, but can't keep the gigantic grin off his face.

“Well I better be the first one to hear it!” I say with a wink. 

Gale rolls his eyes, laughs, but nods. 

We know I will. 

It's actually contagious, to see my best friend so in love, I'm almost giddy with him. 

Weird.

So maybe I'm not so allergic to happy endings either. 

 

“Katniss!! We need your help!” Madge says in a sing-songy voice. 

I grimace, let out a deep sigh and give Gale a pleading look. 

He just shrugs. 

Great. No allies here. 

And so begins my acting career as Peeta Mellark’s girlfriend for the Holidays with his family. 

Madge starts jotting down notes. She lists a hair salon, a wax center, a list of clothing, make up, shoes. Asking Peeta which family members will be in town for the week. Other tentative events --all of which made my childhood Christmases as a poor girl from the wrong side of town sound so meagre. 

I'm already a fish out of water. 

“I don't, I don't even know how--,” I stammer. 

Madge interrupts,“Oh, nonsense! I'll teach you everything, we have time to prepare. Just be yourself, Katniss. You've always had a calming effect on Peeta. He needs you and I can't be there. Everything will be fine, Katniss!” 

Jo is finding all of this amusing. “Hey, don't be brainless! You get to pretend to be a different version of yourself. Haven't you ever wondered what it would have been like to have more growing up? I have! This could be fun!” Johanna is surprisingly convincing for how drunk she is. 

I have to admit, all the things Madge is talking about would be an experience, and I'm not alone. I'll be with our friend Peeta the whole time. 

Now I'm looking at Madge, then Peeta, and back. 

“Can we establish a safe word? When it's too much and I need an escape? I could say ‘do you want to build a snowman?’ Instead of making a run for it.” I try to make light of it but I'm a known flight risk. We all understand this. 

“Absolutely, I can help you with an escape to a quiet place, just say so.” Peeta reassures me. 

I hesitate and fiddle with my hands. 

“All the Mellark baked goods will be on tap the whole week,” he adds.

I look sceptical. “If we're doing this, we're going to make it fun. Promise?” I add.

“I promise!” Peeta replies. 

“Also, you're so lucky Prim is off the grid, helping with medical needs from the hurricanes!” I tease. He knows I would never pick this over a Christmas with my sister. 

I'm also keeping his little crisis in perspective, this isn't a real crisis at all. 

“Fine. I'll do it,” I say with a huff.

Johanna and Madge cheer. 

Gale is laughing at my predicament. 

“You're the best, Everdeen!” Peeta wraps me up in a tight full body hug. 

I stiffen a little but don't pull away.

I'm just not much for hugging, but I've tried to get used to Peeta’s, Thresh's and, well, probably half our friends touchy, affectionate tendencies.Especially after the alcohol is flowing. 

It surprises me that of all our friends, it’s actually Peeta and Annie whose touchy tendencies turn from affection to questionable around me after a few drinks. 

Peeta keeps his body flush to mine and this hug is turning not so innocent. 

I shove him back playfully. I have stories. 

“Easy tiger! That reminds me. Let's work through some rules? I think for all intents and purposes we should appear to be dating exclusively, just out of respect for each other. Try to keep excessive flirting with the ladies to a minimum?” I ask of Peeta.

“Noted. Only flirt with you.” Peeta grins widely and emphasizes you with his finger to my nose.

I roll my eyes.

“What about you, Peeta? Ground rules for your lovely girlfriend?” I ask with a sarcastic tone, batting my eyes in mock flirtation. 

Jo smirks. 

Madge is busy in thought. 

Gale is cleaning up.

“Oh um, yeah, don't jingle anyone else's Christmas bells?” He grins.

I glare at him. 

He laughs. “The only sleigh you should be riding is--,”

“PEETA!” I interrupt, trying to scowl, but my amusement shows. 

Jo gives him a high five. 

“Okay, OKAY! Umm, I'm going to be myself, so I'm going to be affectionate in front of people,” Peeta says while my eyes go wide, he's not suggesting... “No! Nothing crazy. I just mean hand holding, arm around your shoulder, light touching. The kind a grandma would approve of. Try not to resist me,” he says with a wink. 

Then he demonstrates by putting an arm around me. 

Did it just get a little warmer in here? I shrug my shoulders up a little. Then I remind myself not to resist. 

Madge and Jo laugh at me while I struggle.

Peeta has his Casanova smile, then he leans in. 

I start to breath heavier when his hot breath tickles my neck.

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it,” he whispers. 

My cheeks go red and I shove him away as Madge and Jo hoot and holler. 

I shake my head and laugh with them. 

I grab some ice out of my water cup and smear it all over Peeta’s face.

“Cool it there, Don Lothario! Not everyone is comfortable with such blatant forwardness!” I say grinning. I know I've won this round. 

“Back to their antics!” Johanna mumbles.

Jo and Madge start whispering. 

Nope, I'm not going to stick around for the teasing that will follow. 

“Hey I'm going to get going. Jo, do you need a ride to our apartment? Peeta you're staying here?” I ask the two who don't live in this upscale apartment. 

“I'm good,” Peeta says with a nod, raising another drink in his hand, meaning he's staying here. 

Jo grabs her coat as I say my goodbyes and hand out my remaining few Christmas gifts to our friends. 

It's so nice to have Christmas here every year.

Jo and I are adult orphans, so this is our family Christmas. Or was.

Now I'm joining Peeta’s family.


	2. Chapter 2

The lights and sounds of the impending Christmas week are evident as we make our way through downtown. The obnoxious bright lights that glimmer in the night linger and burn as I drive. The snow falling lightly reminds me that I long for the woods, and the sight of a star or two would be a welcome sight. I keep my eyes on the road. The slush sounds that accompany driving in these conditions are drowned out by the warm buzz of contentment our friends bring when we are all together. 

Well, Johanna is still buzzed from spiked eggnog.

As we drive back to our apartment, Johanna talks about her upcoming trip to the coast. 

“I'm hoping I can score a fling for the week like you did when you visited Abernathy’s that one summer. How did you snag him by the way?” 

Ugh. I don't want to say. It further confirms, to my friend's amusement, my poor judgement in choices of companionship. 

I met him through my uncle's step-son, who lead with his own line. “Hey did you know it's legal to marry your cousin here?” 

YUCK! That should have been a clue that his friend would also turn out to be a weirdo. 

The beach was amazing with a strong handsome man who was so into me. It was a wild trist. 

By the end of the week, I learned enough about him to be happy to leave it there. 

Southern gentleman my ass. He started bragging about fights he'd been in.

No thank you. 

The tipping point was when he started a story with: “Look, I'm not racist, but…” then continued with a racist comment.

Nope. You. are. DISMISSED.

 

“Oh I met that guy through Effie’s nephew,” I reply, but I'm still disgusted thinking about him. 

My roommate gives me a thoughtful look. “You know, Brainless, you could have your own little something at casa de Mellark?” she says with mischief in her eyes. 

I scowl.

“Oh come on, you seriously can't tell me you're not at all attracted to Peeta Mellark? That your ‘antics' couldn't lead to more? You never thought about hitting that? Probably any woman who has even met him has…” Jo insists incredulous of my scowl.

“FINE! Of course, I have! When we were younger, he would meet us at Madge’s pool parties. He was older and dreamy. The hair, the body, the eyes? Yes all of it. For a shy, hormonal teenage girl to get his attention, even for a minute was...ahh!” I have to catch my breath at the memory.

“But I knew he was out of my league. Then, you know, at college it was easy to live in the friend zone. Besides, he dates girls from old money, like Cashmere De Young, and I'm--,” I confess, gesturing to myself. 

Johanna interrupts. “Incredible? Genuine? Real? Radiant with no make up? Smart? Funny? Loyal? I could go on…” 

I'm surprised at my usually sarcastic friend's words of affirmation. It takes me a minute to take it in. “Hmm.” 

“He's not out of your league. He never was. You have to believe that! You are unique, not some cookie-cutter bimbo dripping with daddy's money. Don't for one second think a girl like that has anything on you!” Jo insists.

Wow. 

I'm not really sure what Johanna was trying to achieve by this pep talk, but I'm a little choked-up!

I just nod. 

Barely a whisper, but I manage to say, “Thank you, Jo.” 

She just smiles in reply. Then waves off my comment implying ‘it was nothing.’

 

That night I revisit memories I have long buried. It's all Jo’s fault. 

“Madge! You did not tell me there were going to be so many hot guys here!” I scowl at my closest girl friend as I fiddle nervously with the green bikini she convinced me to wear. I'm not really a bikini kind of girl. 

“Relax Katniss! Don't even start. You hang out with the hotness that is Gale Hawthorne all the time. Besides, you know all these guys from school.” She gestures toward the guys at the refreshment table. I do recognize each of them.

“And those,” Madge gestures to the hottest guy I've ever seen standing with a few other swimsuit clad high schoolers near the diving board. “--are my cousin and his friends.”

Madge says and gives me a knowing smile as she watches my jaw drop. 

“Th-th-THAT is the cousin that used to tease us and chase us? The one who used to bring treats from his parent's bakery?!” 

Madge nods, trying to hold in a laugh.

This time my eyes rove over the muscular, tall blond, I take in his chiseled chest, muscular arms… 

As he dives into the pool I get a glimpse of his backside and it is ridiculous. 

Madge is laughing at me.

“Katniss, I've never seen you like this! It took 16 years for a boy turn your head and it's my cousin of all people?!” Madge laughs incredulously.

I bite my lip, but keep my eyes on the water.

“Katniss has a crush!” Madge mocks. I was indeed the very definition of a late bloomer.

“I do not!” I argued, but she was right. 

Peeta was a senior, and boy did he have the swagger of the wrestling champion that he was. Yet, his kindness, and steady protective nature remained the same as the boy I would see a few times a year. 

Peeta had a way of making sure I was always included as kids. 

He would patiently explain the rules to a new game and always seemed to be my ally in anything competitive. 

He wasn't around as much in the high school years, so that day at Madge's pool party, I was looking at a whole new Peeta. 

When he came up from under the water, Peeta whipped his head to the side, swiping his wet mop of hair out of his eyes. 

Jeez, right out GQ magazine. 

I know I'm staring. 

Then he caught my gaze and smiled at me. A blinding smile that made my teenage heart beat faster. 

I replied with a shy smile, and looked down. 

Madge shot me a knowing smirk and shook her head with a laugh. 

Wet arms wrapped around my waist from behind. 

I barely had time to squeak before a dripping wet Peeta pulled me away and jumped into the pool dragging me with him. 

I couldn't even be mad, the pool felt so good on such a hot day. I didn't mind his strong arms around me either. 

We were both laughing as we reached the surface. 

That set the tone for the day. 

As we would mingle with our other friends and swim, Peeta and I would lock eyes. Gravitating back to each other. 

Our interactions seemed to be flirty and playful. It became an unspoken agreement that when we were in the pool, where no one could see, hands could explore. 

The first few times Peeta's hand brushed my thighs or hips in the deep end I didn't think anything of it, but the third time it lingered, I caught on. 

He searched my face for a reaction, which I answered with a smile. I liked his attention. 

The heat between us grew. 

That summer Peeta seemed to show up at Madge's house almost every time we were in the pool. 

The attraction between us was undeniable, but our secret. 

As a shy girl who shut down every previous guy's advances I was in over my head. 

I refused to think about a future with Peeta. After all, he was leaving for college hours away at the end of the summer. However, I would be lying if I said I didn't let this crush invade my thoughts all summer.

We had our own “antics,” (Jo would call them present day) and ongoing inside jokes, just like when we were kids. 

It had become our mission to get everyone wet who refused to go in the pool at least once. 

Between planned sneak-attacks and belly flops, Peeta and I were undefeated in our mission. 

By the end of the summer, Peeta bought super-soakers for each of us. We snuck around the side of Madge's house, ready to ambush a particularly manicured group of girls, when he pinned me to the house. 

“I've never met a girl like you, Everdeen,” he said, breathlessly. Then Peeta leaned in...

I never told Madge, but it was Peeta who was my first kiss. Pinned up on the side of her house, 18 year old Peeta Mellark left me breathless and dizzy in a mind blowing kiss. 

I rationalized that it was probably that amazing because it was my first kiss, but I've always wondered why no kiss since then has ever come close. 

Must have been the heat. 

Also, the words super-soaker now have a double meaning I can never forget.

I lie awake frustrated. “Maybe going with Peeta isn't such a good idea?” I wonder to myself.


	3. Chapter 3

Madge is unbelievable. The girl has connections and she knows how to get things done. Almost everyday after my work at the lab, I'm busy with something to prepare for the trip. 

Madge and I are getting our nails done at a salon she frequents. I never do this kind of thing. I kept my nails shorter, square, and a dark red color, seasonal, but edgy enough to be myself. I’m pretending to be a wealthier version on myself I reason with myself.  
Madge is getting her baby pink French Tip frost with iridescence and sparkles. She couldn’t be happier that I begrudgingly accompanied her. I try to enjoy her company while she continues on her mission to prepare me.  
“I peppered in compliments about you when I was on the phone with Aunt Loretta, but you know how she is,” Madge admits with a grimace.

I roll my eyes. I do know how she is.

Mrs. Mellark was full of backhanded compliments and condescension when she met Gale. My best friend is a tall, dark, and handsome engineer with intense gray eyes, that could win over any woman. 

Madge's Aunt being the exception.

“When I mentioned that I met Gale through you, it all went downhill.” She rolls her eyes. I'm not surprised.

“Maybe I should have started with how much you make in the lab working for pharmaceutical companies.” Madge winks. 

I huff. 

I don't how to handle someone so superficial. 

Money was hard to come by growing up. The only reason I had the opportunity to attend college was the archery scholarship I received. 

It was extremely lucky that my favorite professor, Dr. Beetee. Took an interest in me and explained that with my major, Biochemistry in Pharmaceutical Sciences, I was eligible for the program that enables undergraduate students to begin taking graduate courses in their senior year. 

I received a Master of Science degree within a year of finishing my undergraduate degree.

Dr. Beetee helped me find a job with his connections, I was hired right out of college. With his encouragement, I've been taking a few night classes in pursuit of my doctorate.

My paygrade allows me to afford a good chunk of my sister's college bills as she studies to become a pediatrician, while I continue to live with a roommate and a tight budget. 

I guess Mrs. Mellark would like to know what I make and not where it goes.

Madge wrote out an itinerary based on what she knows after talking to her aunt, with what outfit to wear, the right shoes, makeup for each outfit, diagrams, and tips for what might happen. 

The shopping she's done for me is a welcome relief. She knows me so well. What I like, what I look good in, what fits, and most importantly, how much I hate shopping. 

Peeta and I are heading out of town in his black SUV --I always refer to it as his secret service vehicle. Snow is lightly dusting our scenery on the open road. 

It's a 3 hour drive to Merchant, Peeta’s ritzy gated community hometown. Politicians, socialites, anyone with money, even a famous eccentric musician are all known to live in that area. 

A 30 minute drive from there is the suburban town Madge, Gale, and I grew up in. Gale and I grew up on the poorer side of town. Madge growing up as the mayor's daughter (and now senator elect) obviously being the nicest part of our area.

The first hour of our drive is filled with our usual banter and laughter. I'm genuinely relieved that this weird week will be with Peeta, he's a blast. 

We take turns playing new music we've found, and fall into our usual discussions, sharing thoughts on certain lyrics or a particular soul-stirring melody. 

Peeta gets a thoughtful look on his face before he speaks. “Okay, this may seem weird to discuss, but I’m going to surprise you in the moment, when no one is looking. I don’t think our first kiss should be in front of everyone. It's going to look forced and awkward.”

I quirk an eyebrow at him. “OUR. First. Kiss?” I lock eyes with him, but keep a teasing look on my face. 

He raises his eyebrows realizing what he just said, remembering, his cheeks turn rosy. 

“You were my first kiss,” I whisper, just barely loud enough for him to hear. Cherishing the memory. 

I bite my lip in thought. Quick dart my eyes to Peeta as I catch him licking his lips, then snap my gaze back on the road. 

“Really?” He seems surprised, but I can hear a smile and, is that pride, in his tone? 

“Mhmm.” I feel 16 again and I'm floating, my skin tingles. I know I'm blushing so I just stare down at my boots.

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, I blurt out. “Our kisses couldn't ever be forced or awkward, Peeta.” I leave that for him to chew in as I crank up some “Hipster Holidays Radio” on Pandora.

After all the stories Madge and Peeta have told me of the infamous Mrs. Loretta Mellark, I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful, and well, perfect. Everything about her was “just so,” which, maybe I should have guessed, knowing how “just so” Madge is. 

She's dressed in classically styled name brand clothes, makeup that complements her icy blue eyes and lighter skin tone, elegantly styled updo, highlighted blond hair, nothing is out of place or inexpensive. 

Loretta is the most beautiful middle aged woman I've ever seen. Her pores seep elegance.   
An air of pretension and anxiety follows her everywhere. 

Honestly, this explains some things. 

“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Katniss. I told you she was coming. She grew up with Madge, remember?” Peeta introduces me, rushed and nervous.

With a weak smile, I offer my hand in greeting. Trying to relax my own nerves. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me,” I tell Peeta's mother.

Loretta purses her lips and looks me over, eyes narrow, ignoring my extended hand. 

I stuff my hands into the pockets of my worn jeans, which I realize she's judging right now.

“What an interesting name. Very Haight-Ashbury.” 

I look at Peeta and we're both trying to hide our amusement.

“Thanks?” I reply trying to keep a neutral expression.

“If my dear niece is fond of you, I’m sure you’ll find your place here. Peeta, can you show her to one of the upper guest rooms? We won’t have any cohabitation in my house, especially among so many family members, you understand?”

Peeta nods. 

I try to hide my sigh of relief. 

That is until I find that I’m being put in a room so far from the rest of the family. 

Message received. My place here is not with the rest of the family. I can tell by Peeta's grimace he's also caught onto his mother's condescending implication. 

“It's okay, Peeta, I do like having a place to escape, so I don't know if I really mind at all.”

“Yeah, but it's just rude. You're my girlfriend.” He clears his throat. “I mean, she shouldn't treat you that way, and it's disrespectful to both of us,” he says with frustration. 

I put my hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, Peeta, let's just get through this as smoothly as possible. We don't play her games. We have our own antics,” I say with a smile and a wink.

He rolls his eyes and I know he's thinking of the reference “antics.” 

One year, Peeta stress baked enough Christmas cookies to open his own bakery. When I came over to his apartment to set up for movie night, we came up with the idea of having a cookie eating contest. 

We got right to frosting in preparation for our Christmas party. 

Later on, Jo and Finnick walked in to find 12 dozen frosted cookies and Peeta chasing me with a spatula, laughing with frosting all over his face, mine being equally frosted.

Johanna and Finnick went into a long list of our games we come up with, the chasing and teasing, referencing them as “antics.” It became a recurring joke Jo and Finnick go back to in reference to the competitions we come up with, or playful things we do together.

“Always with the antics” became a recurring joke.

“Ugh, now I really want some cookies!” I groan. 

Peeta lights up at the reference, and chuckles to himself. “I know where to find some!” He takes my hand and leads me out of the secluded guest room. 

I don’t really know what kind of awkwardness would have come from sharing a room with Peeta, so I put it out of my mind. 

“Did your mom call my parents hippies?” I remind him. 

Our eyes meet and we laugh.

“Pretty much.”

Peeta leads me to the kitchen. “You are kind of a flower child, yourself.” He pokes at my side. 

I squirm and scowl at him. 

As we eat frosted Christmas sugar cookies from Mellark’s bakery, Peeta brings up ways we should look and act like a couple. “We have to believable, right?” 

“Yeah?” I roll my eyes.

“Let's go over ‘couply things’ we should do,” Peeta suggests, always the project manager. 

“Like hand-holding?” I deadpan, because this seems kind of silly. We're adults. We've been in plenty of relationships. I do see his point, it is hard to think of Peeta as more than a friend.

Well, was, until Joanna opened that can of worms. 

He reaches for my hand and nods. 

I slowly grasp his large palm and interlace our fingers, ignoring the tingle that spreads with our touch.

“Or I'll put my arm around you.” Peeta demonstrates and I try to relax in his embrace. My nerves are a little on edge. 

“Loving gestures.” His arm travels down and he rubs my back affectionately. 

Then he pulls on the end of my braid to turn me toward him. 

Peeta stares into my eyes and smooths a strand of my hair behind my ear carefully. 

I crinkle my nose. 

He laughs.

Peeta kisses my nose.

I gasp, startled. 

Then we both laugh. 

He pulls me into a hug as we laugh, for no reason in particular. His face snuggles down in the crook of my neck. 

I feel so...

We hear footsteps behind us and in walks William Mellark, beaming at the couple he’s found in the kitchen. 

I push away with one hand on Peeta's chest and look up at him for what to do.   
His arms remains wrapped around me. 

I'm momentarily distracted by the feel of his muscular solid chest under my fingertips. 

Peeta's attention is on the family patriarch. “Hey Dad! This is Katniss, my girlfriend,” he introduces me. 

I try not to notice the huskiness Peeta's voice took on when the said girlfriend, or the proud smile he gave. 

It almost hurts to have to lie to his dad like that. I swallow my feelings. 

As Peeta releases me from his embrace, I step forward.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Mellark!” I say, hoping to school my nerves.

With familiar Mellark deep blue eyes, I'm greeted with a smile. Peeta’s dad has prominent laugh lines and the wrinkles around his eyes seem to be from happiness. His blonde hair is cut short with gray sprinkled around his temples, but I'm sure it was exactly like Peeta's in his youth. 

He's very handsome. 

I know where Peeta gets his looks.

“It's Will to you, please? Make yourself at home here, Katniss!” 

I greet him with a handshake. “Thank you, Will!” 

The first night, the Mellarks have planned a couples’ ice skating event in town. We meet up with Peeta's brothers and their wives.

Dane Mellark is a lawyer and it shows with the way he carries himself, seems cold and serious. 

His wife, Clara, is also blond; beautiful, perfectly manicured, and dressed like Princess Kate. I'm sure she's everything his mother wanted in a daughter-in-law. 

We make polite conversation, what I do, how we met, how Dane and Clara met. Clara’s favorite topic being their children. 

I can't shake the feeling that I don't really belong.

Rye Mellark and his wife arrive a little later. The Middle Mellark son greets me with a warm hug and whispers, “try not to melt the ice there” with a wink. 

Is he flirting with me? 

Then, he pulls Peeta in a headlock and, mutters something that makes Peeta blush. 

I don't have time to wonder what kind of woman married him when a dark red haired bombshell smacks Rye’s arm. “Knock it off Ryen!” 

Rye releases Peeta with a huff. 

“I'm Lila, it's nice to meet you, Katniss.” Lila pulls me into a side hug, she smells like an expensive perfume.   
She's clearly used to this kind of lifestyle, but from talking to her she's approachable, and genuine. 

The first time I make Rye and Lila laugh Peeta and I lock eyes. The look of pride and something else I'm not familiar with flashes in his eyes. I'm much more comfortable around them after that. 

It's a relief. 

Rye makes a big show of his backwards skating abilities. He's dressed in a black Red Wings starter jacket and hockey skates. 

Lila makes a few jokes at her husband's expense.   
“Why the Red Wings didn't want him…” 

And something about How he dressed in,costume. She's funny, and clearly Rye thinks so too.   
He laughs along and his eyes twinkle with love for his wife. 

There's that feeling again. 

What is it with me lately? I'm noticing that ‘love' look everywhere. 

I blame Gale. 

The outdoor rink is beautiful, with lights, greenery and holly. It even smells of evergreen.   
In the center, is a decorated 30 foot tree looking magical, the music playing makes my ears buzz with nostalgia. 

I tighten my hand in Peeta's unconsciously and feel the buzz travel from my ears to my whole body as I listen.

Taking in the scene as we make our first loop around on the glassy ice rink, I can't help but sigh in contentment. 

“I feel like a kid again!” I smile up at Peeta. 

He squeezes my hand and smiles back in reply. 

I briefly think of Madge saying “you have a calming effect on Peeta.” I wonder if he has the same effect on me, and if this feeling, similar to holiday cheer, has something to do with the man next to me. 

As if he's reading my thoughts, Peeta draws me into his arms. I'm met with his deep blue eyes and the reflection of lights dancing around us before Peeta plants a chaste kiss on my lips. 

My heart is beating faster, and I can't keep the stupid grin off my face.   
The tingling sensation on my lips lingers.

I force myself to focus on one thought,   
“This is fun. We're having fun. Don't over think.”   
I glance behind Peeta and realize his brothers and parents were watching us.   
Smiles and whispers are shared among them.

Oh right, this is for appearances. 

I grin back at Peeta, as if to say “It's working.”

A confusing tightness lingers in my gut. 

I refuse to let my thoughts wander and analyze. Or think about my body’s reaction to the kiss. 

The first thing Peeta says to me once we arrive back at his parents’ house is “Hey, you know what we need? Hot Cocoa!” 

We walk with his arms wrapped around me, as if we are really a couple. 

It really felt like a first date and it was, well, wonderful.

Peeta hands me a fresh cup of cocoa and I take my seat at the breakfast nook while he prepares his own cup. 

On the wall are cute pictures of the Mellark boys in various stages of life. 

It's funny to see Peeta as a chubby little grade-schooler, same friendly smirk, same bright blue eyes. 

I try to think if I remember him like that at Madge's birthday parties. I just wasn't paying enough attention then. Maybe I do remember that sweet face, playing tag in Madge's back yard. 

I turn and collide with Peeta’s very full cup of steaming Hot Cocoa. It pours all down his shirt. 

Peeta hisses. He sets his cup down, and whips his shirt off to rid himself of the scalding liquid.

I quickly reach for a napkin and attempt to dry his lap.

He has light red marks from the cocoa, but I can't ignore his chiseled and muscular chest.

Wow. Just. Wow. 

My movements still as we make eye contact.

My chest feels heavy, the air feels thick. 

My whole body is very aware of this growing attraction.

Or recurring attraction?

This is HOT.

“What?” Peeta says, amusement on his face.

I must have said that out loud. 

I try to shake away the magnetism he has.   
Then I realize my hand is still in his lap, lingering precariously. Was I just rubbing his... lap?

I pull back, taking a sip of my cocoa to hide my reaction. “The cocoa is hot,” I blurt out in an attempt to recover. Looking anywhere but at Peeta.

We quietly finish our hot chocolate.

“Well, I think I’m ready to head to my room. I had a lot fun, Peeta, thank you,” I say.

Peeta catches my hand and pulls me in a warm hug. 

My hands go around his back.

His bare muscular back.

He’s still shirtless. 

I resist the urge to moan.

My whole body heats up again. 

“Thank you for doing this, Katniss,” Peeta whispers. 

I feel his warm breath and the brush of his lips on my neck.

I pull away and nod, mumbling some sort of affirmation.

I head up to my room before I do something stupid like shove him into the wall and kiss him senseless without the pretence of appearances.

 

That night, I dream of a shirtless Peeta, moaning and grunting as I stroke...


	4. Chapter 4

At breakfast, I’m sitting next to Peeta, sipping my morning coffee while he holds my hand. 

Peeta makes a joke about buttering my pancake.

I spit a little bit of my coffee out.

Peeta bursts into laughter.

“The last time that happened Madge convinced us to swap shirts!” Peeta explains his laughter.

Joining his laughter, we reminisce about our humorous first encounter at Panem State in Gale’s apartment my freshman year.

Thresh and I became fast friends with a similar family background and interest in mischief, we pranked our entire dorm hall with an airhorn, and shaving cream balloons that popped above everyone’s doors as they opened them.

Peeta actually started joining our pizza nights at Gale’s apartment through his friendship with Thresh.

_My phone buzzes after class Friday, as I head out of my Freshman Biology class. I check my messages. It's our usual group message from Gale and Thresh confirming our weekend plans._

_Gale: Let’s make ‘Pizza Night’ a party this week?_

_Me: Okay. I’ll tell Madge and Johanna. I'm sure they'll get the word out too._

_Thresh: If Kat’s ready to party I'm so in. I’ll invite some of the wrestling team. C-ya._

_Later that night, I’m shoving Pizza in my mouth while Johanna goes on about how to turn a one night stand into a weekend fling._

_Thresh takes advantage of my distraction, picks me up, and sets me in his lap._

_I scowl and elbow him in the chest while he laughs at my attepts to break away._

_I swallow down my pizza, take a gulp of my beer and turn, only to be met with a pair of familiar looking blue eyes I haven’t seen in 2 years._

_Instead of saying hi to Peeta Mellark like a normal person, I spew the entire beer all over myself and start choking on what was remaining in my mouth._

_My gasping and coughing gets the attention of the entire room. Madge helps me up and whisks me away to the bathroom only to realize I was wearing a soaked white t-shirt._

_Madge reads me like a book._

_“I have an idea, trust me,” she says with her mad-scientist look, taking my t-shirt with her._

_My clever friend somehow comes back with 2 men’s t-shirts, one smelling like Gale and another smelling delicious, like cologne and something else masculine._

_We quickly put on the larger shirts and make our way out of the bathroom._

_Madge taps a shirtless Gale and he puts on Madge’s discarded shirt without breaking his conversation with a fellow engineering student._

_I look around and realize she convinced everyone to switch shirts with the opposite gender._

_Johanna winks at me, then pulls a tall, handsome redhead wearing her shirt into the kitchen, revealing Peeta behind her; smiling and wearing my wet, white t-shirt, tight across his chest, short like a tight crop top._

_“I think I owe you this,” he says, handing me a new beer._

“Madge was a genius! It really livened up that party!”

Peeta and I laugh about seeing all the guys at that party struggling to keep wearing the girls’ tight-fitting shirts on. It became a “thing” at college parties.

“People were talking about it for weeks!”

“I think some embarrassing pictures taken after a few rounds of shots are still floating around FB somewhere,” I snicker, then stop. My eyes widen when I think of a particular picture of Peeta and I that made me blush when it surfaced on Facebook days after that party. I don't remember anything about it, but it's been documented. Handsy when drunk. Among other...things.

We grin at each other. Then continue eating breakfast.

Leading up to party time, the day is nearly unbearable with tension.

Caterers are setting up. I look over the main level and realize that it's best for me to stay out of the way while Loretta barks out orders to the decorators and her sons, putting everything in its final place.

 

I can tell the moment it’s all too much for Peeta. All the pressure for perfection from his mother is going to make him snap soon. 

He needs a moment of peace. Some time that’s is real and not for show.

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” I ask.

He looks at me confused, then remembers those were my code words for ‘let’s get outta here.’ He laughs. 

“Let’s go for a walk, Peeta? I need some fresh air,” I ask, he nods and follows me to the door.

He starts heading for the sidewalk, but I pull him around toward the back through the woods. The snow is especially beautiful here in the woods, the quiet of the snowflakes falling is so soothing. 

“Katniss I–,” He wants to talk, but I don’t want to. I launch a snowball at his back to shut him up.

He turns with a mischievous look on his face, but before he can reach for his own ammunition I pelt him twice. Snowballs fly back and forth as we laugh and dodge, weaving between trees.

I duck behind a tree. It’s quiet, usually I can hear his heavy tread anyway, so this my chance to take him by surprise. 

I can’t see him anywhere. It’s silent. As I’m walking, I think I hear something, so I stop.

A yank on my ankle and I’m propelled backwards landing in a soft pile of snow. Peeta’s arms wrap around me as he emerges from the snow. Before I can protest, I’m equally covered in icy cold powder. We’re rolling and laughing. Peeta pins me down in an impressive wrestling move.

I struggle. Peeta smiles down at me. 

“Okay, you win this round Mellark!” I admit defeat with a huff. My mitten covered hands raised up in surrender. 

Peeta kisses my nose and grabs both my hands to pull me out of the snow flashing a perfect triumphant smile. I shiver, maybe from the cold, maybe from his blindingly bright blue eyes, I can’t be too sure.

He must have noticed the shiver because he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his arms whispering into my ear, “I have some wood, let’s warm you up and light that fire.“ 

Was that an innuendo?

I raise my eyebrows. He leans in and then smirks as we make our way back to the Mellarks’ house.

I sigh. I thought he was going to kiss me for “real” when no one was looking and we didn’t have to be pretending in front of his family.

The snow continues to fall around us and snowflakes get tangled in his impossibly long eyelashes. I turn away before he notices me staring.

The whole family is spending the next few days here at the house, which I learned is “an annually required family bonding time.”

They're all set up in various guest rooms for the next few days.

The sister in laws are doing what they can to keep the children out of anyone's way.

A sitter was hired for the party, but isn't due to arrive yet. I offer to help Clara and Lila while they get themselves ready. Also to get my mind off a certain blue-eyed tall blonde gorgeous someone who refuses to leave my thoughts. I'm 16 again and this is all confusing.

6 busy grand-kids 8 and under is a lot to try to keep out of mischief. We color and play games.

“Kat-iss.”

“No! It's Kat-miss!”

“Kat-iss!”

“You can call me Kat, it's okay!”

“Can we call you Aunt Kat? Daddy says you could be someday.”

“Well, if some day does happen, then you can call me Aunt. Until then it's just Kat to you, got it?” I give a wink to Dane’s more pragmatic children, predictably the oldest. 

I try to keep the wildness to a minimum, but there's only so much I can do. I have to admit, the Mellarks make adorable children!

Lila comes back as I'm tickling two of her blonde giggling sons. She gives me a look.

“You're a natural, Katniss!” She's beaming now at the thought of more nieces or nephews.

“Uh, thanks. I'm going to go get ready now.” I don’t want to think about any hypothetical babies with Peeta.

I give myself a pep talk as I adjust the push up bra I'm wearing under the emerald green dress Madge picked for me. “Try to be friendly, be a calming effect on Peeta.” I sigh as I pull out the detailed instructions and diagrams on how to do my make-up.

“Thanks Madge.” I text her, with a picture of the finished, party-ready self.

Mrs. Mellark did a double take when she saw me. Then raised her eyebrows in surprise, “You look lovely, Katniss,” she said, followed by a slow, but sincere smile.

I smiled back and thanked her. Wow, a smile of approval from Mrs. Mellark, I never thought I would see the day.

All I've gathered from this party is that loads of money was spent and it's all for show. It's boring and stiff. The entire first hour was introduction and light shallow conversation. The best part of this party is the food spread and the alcohol.

I thought we would have been able to make out way over to Annie and Finnick by now, but we are being paraded around so Mrs. Mellark can brag about her handsome successful youngest.

Apparently, being a Biochemist is impressive enough for her, because she's bragging about what I do. I didn't even realize she was paying any attention to my career explanation and clearly she googled some of her fast facts, because she didn’t ask me a thing.

Peeta holds my hand tightly, as if he's worried I will bolt at the first chance. Which I would be lying if I said it hasn't crossed my mind.

Maybe Peeta is playing it up for the cameras, but it seems like he’s very eager to kiss me with every opportunity. Maybe it helps with his nerves, but the chaste kiss count is racking up today.

When Madge’s parents find me, they pull me in a tight hug.

“Thank you so much for your help with our fundraiser last month, Katniss! We raised so much for aid the childhood hunger that our state is facing.” Madeline Undersee, always a champion for the underdog.

Before I can say much, Senator and Mrs. Undersee are gushing about me to Loretta, as if I am family. This is all quite the exaggeration. I'm a surly girl who was forced to grow up too fast, I do what anyone else would in my situation. I really do enjoy helping Madge with the causes that improve things for children who grew up with the struggles I had. Why wouldn't I help?

I can't keep but feel a little surprised, taken aback even, by the kind words said about me.

“I can't imagine a better addition to your family, Loretta.” The senator motions to Peeta and I.

As the 5 of us pose for a picture, a lump forms in my throat. I never meant to deceive Madge's parents.

With that, Peeta's mom releases her hovering over us. We've appeased her. We're free to go.

We spot Annie and Finnick, a welcome relief. Finnick has an audience of middle aged women hanging on his every word. He holds Annie at his side, almost protectively.

As his audience erupts in laughter, Finnick takes the opportunity to head towards us. Pulling his best friend in a hug while Annie and I catch up.

“You two look amazing together. A very cute couple,” Annie whispers in my ear.

I just smile and shrug.

After only a few minutes, the four of us are laughing and reminiscing. It feels like we're finally enjoying the party, with Finnick and Annie.

Peeta looks over at his mom, then meets my eyes and steals another kiss. A thank you.

I pretend my heart didn't just flutter.

Finnick raises his eyebrows then looks to Annie communicating wordlessly. It creeps me out when they do that, so I mumble something about more wine.

Peeta keeps his hand in mine and follows.

As we walk by the grand piano, I admire its beauty.

Peeta gives me a look I can't read and then at the piano, like he's remembering something. He squeezes my hand and leans into my ear. His hot breath brushes my bare neck. I bite my lip, trying not moan or think any dirty thoughts.

“You should play. Sing something, like you did at my cousin's party when we were kids,” he whispers.

I try to ignore the husky, sexy sound of his whisper. Or imagine it being something dirty he's saying.

Peeta misreads my quietness because he tries to convince me. “I think you were 11 and you had a red dress, your hair was in 2 braids. You were so excited to show Madge that you could play the piano like she could. It was a Christmas song, wasn't it?” Peeta asks.

I lift my head and look into his eyes, his smiling face. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I can't believe you remember that.” I try to hide my surprise.

Peeta smiles as I find my seat on the bench.

I haven't sang in so long but, for some reason, with that look Peeta gave me all the confidence I need. I'm almost excited to sing for him.

I play the intro on the piano and I notice the chatter in the room die down.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Let your heart be light  
From now on your troubles will be out of sight  
Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Make the Yuletide gay  
From now on your troubles will be miles away  
Here we are as in olden days  
Happy golden days of yore  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more  
Through the years we all will be together  
If the fates allow  
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough  
So have yourself a merry little Christmas  
Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
So have yourself a merry little Christmas

Nooooooow.”

My fingers dance over the keys as I close out the song. The dancing in my heart continues and I can't keep the joy inside from spilling out onto my face.

Music has a way of making right something inside us. It felt like my dad was with me. Smiling.

“Hey are you okay?” Peeta looks concerned. He starts wiping away tears I didn’t know I shed.

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I-I just miss them. I miss my dad,” I attempt to explain.

Peeta pulls me into an empty room and just holds me close. Exactly what I needed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated M for its sexual content. Reader be advised. ;)  
> It's Christmas Day!

Breakfast with Peeta’s entire family is something else. Some are nursing hangovers.  
Peeta and Rye sit next to each other and play fight with their elbows. 

“These are grown men, folks!” Lila announces with amusement. 

“Hey, can I butter your biscuit?” Peeta says again with a wink.

I just roll my eyes at him. 

“Do you need me to wet your waffle, Lila?” Rye adds, greatly amusing his brother.

I reach for my coffee, Peeta looks at me and says. “Too hot? Maybe you should blow it?” 

I shut my eyes and stifle my laugh.

Rye follows with, “Lila really likes sausage for breakfast.” Placing a few on Lila’s plate. 

We all groan. 

This leads to Rye and Peeta going back and forth with innuendos as we eat.

“Do you want a package to come for Christmas, Katniss?”

“I’ll do you a favor, if Santa doesn't come, well…” 

Finnick and Peeta could do this all day. It's hilarious to hear Peeta and his brother go back and forth. Lila pretends they aren't that funny, but eventually breaks down and cracks up with the rest of us. We're just lucky the pretentious matriarch is seated at the dining table and not with us in the breakfast nook. 

It’s Christmas Day, I don't know what is happening, but today things are different. The hand holding seems second nature. The way we reach for each other is more genuine. Our touches seem to be more than just for appearances. Even the way he says my name sounds, well, different. 

Peeta needed my attention for a conversation with his aunt and the way “Katniss” rolled off his tongue sent a shiver through me, a good shiver.

I know many erotic novels will describe a predicament where the female protagonist is so turned on she “soaked her panties” at an awkward time in an embarrassing setting, but they never cover how one were to remedy the situation. Damnit! 

Peeta and I are surrounded. SURROUNDED by all kinds of his relatives and I just have to awkwardly shift and pretend I'm not uncomfortable until I can attempt some sort of “pat down” in the bathroom. 

What did he do to provoke such a reaction? I'm not even sure. Was it his blinding smile? His deep, contagious laugh? The time when he squeezed my thigh to get my attention? Or when he brushed my hair to the side to whisper an inside joke from years ago in my ear? Maybe it was when he looked intently into my eyes as we grinned and laughed about the joke reference? I can no longer deny this thing between us. It’s electric. It feels...real.

After I stack my plate with cookies, Peeta grabs a bottle of red wine and we sneak away to a less crowded room, laughing all the way. 

It was such a gradual shift. No real conscious decision was made, it just seemed natural. The touching. The hand wondering.

I don't know when it happened, but Peeta and I are up in my room, and I'm straddling his lap as we make out, rather intensely, might I add. 

This feels really real. 

And really intense.

The only coherent thought I can make is “why did it take so long for us to get here?”

I've been living this long without his soft pillow lips, how perfectly they fit and hug my own.

This intensity is what made every other kisser so mundane, forgettable. 

He pulls me tighter as my head begins to spin. I feel drunk on this feeling, on fire, out of control. I feel a hunger within. 

With a sexy husky voice, he whispers magical words that cause a shiver down my spine, “I just want to get you naked.” 

After what felt like hours of roving hands and hungry kisses, clothing in a pile on the floor, I try to catch my breath but, with every touch, Peeta ignites a fire. As his fingers finally reach where I want want him, I'm nearly begging. 

Almost as a reflex, my hand finds its way to make Peeta moan. Hearing his sexy guttural noises has me nearly losing my mind. Hot lips travel down neck, my eyes roll back as my whole body is bathed in waves of euphoria. I hear Peeta stifling similar noises of pleasure in the crook of my neck. 

As we catch our breaths, I find myself giggling.

“Oh that was sooo goood.” I pant with a tired, sated voice. My eyes are heavy.

“Mmmhmm.” Peeta smiles like he just learned a secret. He pecks me on the cheek and finds something to clean up with, then dives back in bed. 

The intense look in Peeta's eyes makes my stomach flip. As if he just can't help himself, he leans in, peppering me with sweet kisses that travel to my lips. 

“Thank you,” Peeta says between lingering kisses.

“No. Thank. You,” I answer back kissing him too. My lips don't disconnect from Peeta's sweet delicious ones until I can't keep my eyes open and Peeta seems to be nodding off. 

As we drift off to sleep on Christmas Day, the only thought I have is that I don't know if I've ever been so happy in someone's arms before. 

In a half awake state I felt some warmth leave my arms, it's replaced by blankets, and a sweet kiss to my lips, which I return, before going back to my slumber.

When I wake for the day I'm greeted with a message from Gale. 

The message, sent last night, says:

Gale: She said yes!!! 

There's a picture of Gale and Madge sporting huge smiles, she’s holding up her left hand up baring the glimmering diamond. 

He popped the question on Christmas Day. 

Another text has a question:

Gale: Madge and I fought over you a little, but will you be my Best Woman? 

Me: Absolutely! Congratulations!!

Then sent Madge the same kind words. 

Madge's reply being: I'll tell you everything when you get back!! xoxo

I thought for a little bit, then decided to get my best friend’s thoughts. 

Me: What do you think about Peeta and I, if we were really dating? Please don't tell Madge until I've talked with Peeta? 

Gale: You're a pragmatic thinker Katniss, you're never going to choose something serious with someone you ‘can live with.’ The question is if you can't live without him? Does he help you be a better you? This could be really good for you Catnip. ;)

Me: Solid advice. I'll let you know.

After I'm showered and dressed, hair woven in my trademark braid, I head downstairs. Since I slept late, only a few family members are still in the kitchen. I decide to look for Peeta before I eat. 

Clara is spoon feeding the chubby babbling baby that sits in the high chair. 

“He's in the kids’ room,” she answers with amusement in her smile. 

What I find is Peeta dancing with his two nieces. The girls are in glittery dress-up clothes, while Peeta has a tulle skirt stretched tight around his waist. All 3 are enthusiastically singing “Let it GO…” as the movie plays on screen. Peeta knows all the words? I would tease him, but I'm just really impressed! 

They didn't see me come in so I quietly sneak back to the kitchen unnoticed. I don't want to ruin the moment. 

I can't wipe away the grin on my face after what I found. Uncle of the year! 

Peeta would make a great dad someday. 

Clara and I share a knowing smile as I prepare my breakfast plate. 

The blue eyed baby with tousled curls babbles to his mom while I allow myself to daydream about what Peeta would be like as a father. 

I didn't realize I was smiling to myself until a hungover Rye sat next to me with a plate of breakfast.

“I really want to mock you about the love struck look on your face, but it's so damn cute. Should I start calling you Sis, now?” Rye nudges me with his elbow, mischief in his eyes, which seems to be a standard Rye Mellark trait.

“What do you mean?” I try to frown, but fail.

Rye laughs. “I mean, I've never seen my baby bro so happy and crazy about someone. You’re just as gaga over him and, from what I've seen, it's a perfect match. I'm guessing a ring isn't too far from Peeta's thoughts. What do ya, say, Sis?” This is the most serious I've ever seen Rye, the last sentence he adds playfully.

“Uh, I, uh?” I really don't know what to say.

“Don't sweat it, Katniss, just let it happen,” Rye says with a hand on my shoulder.

He must have read the fear in my eyes.I make eye contact and pay closer attention to what he's about to say.

“Lila and I were friends first. Lila will tell a much more fluffy magical version, but you seem more practical so, I'll give it to you straight. All couples are different. For us it was a slow natural progression. We were in love before either of us realized it. I didn't know marriage was for me until it just was because it was her. Marrying her was the most natural and necessary decision I've ever made. My whole life is better with Lila. I love her, I want her, and I need her. For the rest of my life. Always,” Rye states so matter of factly we could be talking about the color of snow. It's just fact. 

I'm deeply moved. Somehow this makes more sense than anything I've ever heard about such a commitment. 

“You won't break his heart. He's it for you too. It's in all the little things you're not saying.” And with that Peeta's brother leaves me to my treacherous thoughts, walking upstairs to join his wife and boys. 

I'm also left wondering… so many things.

There's a knock on the door so, after looking around, I see Clara is busy, I might as well answer it. 

There stands Cashmere De Young, Peeta's horrible ex-girlfriend, standing at the door. 

Cashmere came from old money and was absolutely spoiled. Peeta loved her, he doted on her, was immune to her air of elite, and judgmental nature. I blame his mother. 

I always wondered if it had something to do with his mother's constant disapproval, gaining the approval of someone so exclusionary. 

They dated 4 years, Peeta was talking about marriage, and she left him. This was a year ago, just before his family’s party. Peeta told us of his humiliation at their party and of his mother's constant backhanded comments on the following weeks. 

Despite all this, Peeta went to great lengths to try to win Cashmere back for months. She shut down every attempt. He was quite heartbroken.

Like kicking a kitten who just wants to be held and cuddled. 

Devil woman. 

Now this woman is back? At his parent’s home.

“Is Peeta here?” Cashmere studies me, a look of confusion on her face.

Then I remember the look on Peeta's face when this bitch tore his heart out. Suddenly I’m filled with anger. 

Her parents were at the party. They probably saw Peeta looking happy and she wanted to come in here to toy with him?

This woman who is so used to getting everything she wants.

Not on my watch!

“Who do you think you are coming here, Cashmere?” I cross my arms, a scowl on my face.

“I just want to talk to Peeta!” she answers.

“You've had plenty of time to talk to Peeta! An entire year, to be specific!” My words come out as more of a snarl. 

She looks surprised that I know that. 

“Well, I didn't--,” Cashmere tries, but I interrupt. 

“Well, you didn't? You didn't think of his feelings when you left him? You didn't care about anyone else but yourself?!” I cross my arms in challenge.

“That's NOT what happened!!” she insists. 

“Get the HELL OUT OF HERE. I'll tell him you stopped by, it's his choice what he wants to do with that information. But you are NOT going to hurt him EVER AGAIN if I can help it! I DON'T want to see your face again!!” 

Her jaw dropped. “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

“Peeta's GIRLFRIEND!!” I leave her with that and slam the door in her face. 

I feel like I'm floating on air, I can't believe I was able to tell off Cashmere de Young!

“Kat? Come over by us!” Two small hands yank my hand and pull me into the living room where Peeta is coloring with a preschool aged nephew. I'm still shaky on their names and parentage. They look so alike. 

“Let's show Peeta that game we played?” a smirk on his lips, mischief in his blue eyes. This one must be Rye’s? 

“Do you mean THIS game?” I tickle both boys with one hand each as they laugh and squirm. 

“Ooor THIS game?” I pick their sides as the laughs become infectious.

“Or THIS game?” I wrap an arm around each boy and swing them in a circle, plopping them in the couch, gently, but in an exaggerated manner. 

Peeta and I tackle, tickle, and rough house and giggle with our nephews...

I mean his nephews, until it's time for them to head home with their parents. 

After, goodbyes and hugs are exchanged. I'm surprised to find the ache in my stomach when the kids “can't wait to see me again.” 

The sincerity of Dane and Clara’s open invitation for dinner. 

Rye whispers, “looking forward to a ring.” Which I know has a double meaning. 

I really feel like I fit in this family. It kind of scares me. 

Peeta and I find ourselves sitting on the couch by the fire watching the snow fall outside as we sip hot chocolate. 

He places our cups on the coffee table and pulls me into his arms, longing lengthwise our legs entwined. My head just under his chin where I can hear his heartbeat. 

The calm I feel in his embrace seeps through my veins. I heart his heart beat slow and find a rhythmic pattern. It seems to be a mutual calming effect, wrapped up in each other. 

I'm mesmerized as the fire crackles and flames dance in the fireplace. The gentle rise and fall of Peeta's chest beneath me almost makes my eyelids feel heavy. 

“Katniss I--”

Peeta's words are interrupted as his phone starts blowing up with text messages. 

“We need to go the the hospital, it's dad!” Peeta says, panic written all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was the little bit of smut?  
>  What did you guys think of Peeta with his nieces? What do you think Peeta was going to say before he was interrupted?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I love your comments and feedback. ;)

The beauty that comes with the winter season brings with it new dangers.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that about 1 million Americans are injured, and 17,000 people die, as a result of slip-and-fall injuries every year. Studies show slip-and-fall injury rates increase significantly as temperatures decline, with most injuries resulting from contact with outside services.

Peeta and I rush through the hospital doors hand in hand.

“Which room is William Mellark in?” We find Rye asking at the front desk, his voice full of concern. 

Loretta is seated in a chair outside Will’s hospital room. She's trying to hold all her emotions in, but the fear is gripping her. 

Dane is seated next to his mom. He offers his hand, which she clutches for dear life. 

Peeta's dad took a nasty fall when he slipped on ice. Will Mellark has a fractured knee that will require surgery. He has a sprained wrist, and they will be keeping him for a few days due to his head injury. 

I heard Peeta talking to his mom about staying past the New Year to help with his dad. I wonder if I should stay with him? 

Loretta keeps muttering how young her husband is, how fit and healthy. Before long, she’s blaming herself. 

The brothers share a look and exchange a few whispered words, with a few head nods they set a plan in motion.

Peeta and I picked up dinner for the 5 of us while Rye and Dane stayed with mama Mellark. 

After much convincing, Dane took his mom home to sleep while Peeta and I stayed at the hospital to ease Loretta’s fears of being away from her husband. 

The nurses brought us a cot. Peeta and I found comfort snuggled into one another. I fell asleep to his heartbeat under my ear, his solid chest under my fingertips and his fingers in my hair. 

My dreams were less than innocent, twice I woke up too warm and kissing Peeta. I had to calm my thoughts and still my actions. Take deep breaths. We were in a hospital, after all. It's kind of embarrassing how much I want him. In my defense, he didn't seem to mind. 

In the morning, the sight of Peeta's tousled hair and bright eyes make my heart flutter.

“Good morning, beautiful!” he greets me handing me a crushed cup of coffee. He must have risen hours ago. 

“Thank you.” I smile and accept his gift of caffeine. 

“No, thank you so much for being here with me!” 

I shrug my shoulders.

“That's just what we do, Peeta,” I state simply. His smiling reply makes something inside my chest grow so huge, almost 3 times in size. 

I rub my chest unconsciously. 

As we wait in Will’s hospital room, we've been told Peeta's dad may wake up soon. 

There's a stirring as Peeta softly talks to his dad. 

“I'm going to call mom. She's going to want to be here once he wakes up,” Peeta tells me before he leaves the room. 

I nod. 

This might be a good time for me to call Johanna. 

“Hey! It's me! How's the beach?” I ask my roommate. 

“Amazing! It's warm and beautiful, and so many guys and gals to take back to my hotel! How are Mellark’s cinnabuns for Christmas?” Jo teases. 

“It's been great, actually. Really great!” I answer her, vague but honestly.

“Mmmhmm,” I can almost hear the smirk on her face.

“Are you going to keep him?” she asks so simply, like it's not complicated at all to start a relationship with one of my best friends who has been my pretend boyfriend for the last 5 days.

“That depends,” I answer just as simply.  
“Let me guess, you're doing that thing again where you just don't talk. Have you learned nothing?

“When that picture in college surfaced, you both talked about anything and everything except your undying attraction. People only teased you because they figured that you would get together with Peeta-bread, --you two were so hot for each other-- but it was only obvious to everyone else,” Johanna explains. 

I take deep breaths and fight the feelings bubbling up inside me. 

“Okay, I won't let the opportunity pass this time. I think, I think he's it for me, Johanna.”

“I think so too.” Her voice velvety with affection. 

I swallow and explain, “Up until yesterday, everything had been perfect. But his dad had an accident, and we're here at the hospital. If he needs me, I'm going to stay over New Year's. I can't tell him yet, it's too selfish.” 

I hear a door latch so I try wrap up my call.

“I have to be there for him as his FRIEND. That's it. That's all I am, Peeta's friend.” I explain.

“Well, tell him you're crazy about him the second you have the chance,” Johanna insists.

“I will. Thanks, Jo, bye.” I end the call.

It seems the odds are never in my favor, in life and in love. I thought this week may be the exception. 

I turn to find Peeta looking down, closed off body language. Maybe he's taking his dad's accident harder than I thought? 

“My mom is on her way over,” he tells me. 

I step closer, hoping to calm his concerns, but his response is still closed off. 

“Hey, Peeta, I was thinking, I want to stay in town with you as long as you're here. If you need me?” I offer. Here it is, the precursor to bearing my soul. 

I can't meet his eyes yet, I feel too vulnerable.

“Why? Because I need a friend?” Peeta asks, with a biting tone.

“I-I just want to be here, for you, with you. I want to be with you, Peeta.” I try not to say it so monotone, but my fears get the best of me.   
I don't know why I imagined him wrapping me in an embrace at these words. When I find a pained expression on Peeta's face I realize I was very wrong to force myself on him, in the hospital with his injured dad. 

Peeta mutters, “Conceal, don't feel, put on a show…”

“What?” I ask. He looks embarrassed, like he didn't mean to say it out loud. 

“Nothing, uh, something I learned from my... nieces.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. 

I step back and take deep breaths.

“You don't want me? You don't want me to stay with you?” I try to ask with the least amount of emotion possible. 

“No.” Is his only answer. He looks angry. 

Then we hear Will Mellark moan. Peeta rushes to his dad's side. 

Suddenly, I feel like I'm intruding. This is a family time. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong. 

“I'll give you some privacy,” I tell Peeta. He responds with a nod. 

I wait outside the room for what feels like an eternity.

Peeta and his dad are still lost in their own little world as I peek through the windows of the hospital room. 

If he doesn't need me to stay over New Year, why wait?

I'll just get a cab outside the hospital and disappear. There's no way I'm going to stick around while my heart rips apart. 

So THIS is what a broken heart feels like? 

Peeta and I never talked about our feelings, but they became very real to me.

I did his favor, and even though we hadn't planned on my leaving for a few more days, he doesn't need me anymore, I don't need to stay. 

I should have known. 

No. I knew.

I knew I could never deserve Peeta Mellark.

I packed up all my things and called a cab for the train station, then turned my phone off.

Waiting at the train station, I can't help realizing how lonely I feel. How incredibly empty my heart feels without Peeta. I will myself not to cry, but I'm left with a burning lump in my throat for hours. 

I think I was falling for him.

I didn't even admit it to myself before I had lost him. 

Why did I let him slip through my fingers? Everything hurts right now.

After failed attempts to compartmentalize my feelings for Peeta, and trying to convince myself that I'm strong enough to be alone, I doze off in the train. 

The chill the wind gust brings only reminds me that being alone has never felt so bitterly cold.   
I tighten my jacket, but it's no use. 

Instead of unpacking when I arrive home, I curled up on the couch with National Lampoon's Christmas, a bottle of wine, and Ice Cream. 

I decided to call Madge the next morning.  
“Hey Madge, I'm back in town. Let's talk New Year's Eve. What's the plan?” 

Madge answers “New Year's Gala for the Mayor at 7pm. It's a masquerade, black tie. Gale will be relieved to have you as an ally.” 

“Okay, I'll call if I need help with what to wear, but I think my bridesmaid dress from Annie’s wedding could work.” I share my thoughts. 

“Yes, you look so good in red! If Peeta saw you in it…” Madge pauses, “I thought you said you were staying after Uncle Will’s fall? Any reason in particular that you're back early, Kat?” 

“Peeta said he doesn't need me, so I left.” I answer, refusing to elaborate. 

“My cousin is so dense.” Madge huffs. “See you in a few days!!”

“See you then! Don't blind anyone with that new ring of yours!” I tease. 

Madge laughs. “I can't help it if I do! See ya.” 

I make plans with Rue and shut my phone off again. 

Rue and I meet up at the indoor rock wall, we try to do this once a month. It's a great work out and we both really like to climb, a hobby I haven't been able to share with anyone else.   
“Katniss, I'm just so surprised that you'll fight for everyone else you love but, when it comes to your own desires, you give up so easily.” 

“I don't know, Rue. What do I know about what I want anyway?” I shrug and climb on.

“You know you want to make it up the top before I do!” Rue says playfully as she gains the lead up the rock wall.

We laugh and continue vertically. Rue makes it to the top with a grin. 

“All right! Lunch is on me next month,” I tell Rue as we're lowered to the ground by rope and harness. 

After Rue and I have stretched out, rehydrated, talked and laughed, we part ways and I head back to my apartment. I find Annie and Joanna deep in conversation. 

“Katniss, we need to talk about you and Peeta.” Annie says seriously.

I shrug and take a deeper breath. Then I find a spot in the chair facing two if my closest friends. 

“I think I have an idea of what happened, but will you fill us in?” Joanna asks me.

I scowl and nod. 

“I told him I wanted to stay with him, that I wanted to be with him.” I take another shaky breath, chew my lip. 

I'm met with surprised and confused expressions on my friends’ faces. 

“Wow, you did?” Jo asks. 

I nod. 

“I'm proud of you, for one, that must have been hard,” my roommate commends me.

“But then, why are you here?” Annie asks. 

“It wasn't real for him. He-he-he told me he didn't want me to stay over New Year's. That he didn't want me.” It all tumbles out, the lump in my throat grows and I take deep breaths trying to keep my emotions inside. 

“Katniss, he's been talking to Finnick. He’s acting wounded, as if you two broke up. I don't know why he pushed you away. You need to talk to Peeta,” Annie states. 

I shake my head no. “He already made a choice, what good would it do?” I ask Annie. 

“Maybe he didn't hear right, Brainless. You said yourself that his emotions were high after his dad's accident. I don't blame you for bolting, but at least open the lines of communication?” Johanna points to my phone that remains shut off. 

“Look, you may have been faking in the beginning, but what I saw at the Mellark party was very real, for both of you,” Annie insists. 

There's a knock on the door. I look at Jo, wondering if she's invited anyone. She frowns and shrugs. Annie replies with a similar shrug.

I'm greeted at the door with deep blue eyes and a tousled mop of blonde hair. 

Peeta.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story ends! I hope you enjoyed this little holiday Everlark story! Happy Holidays!! -Savvy

With a tired, weary look on his face, Peeta hands me a bouquet of wildflowers and a paper bag. “Hi, can we talk?” 

I bite my lip and nod. 

Annie and Joanna mumble something about being hungry and they head out quickly. 

I try to keep my nerves from showing, but I don't want to scowl either so I decide a distraction might be best. 

I place the flowers in a vase. 

Out of the bag, Peeta pulls out wine and cookies for us. I pour each of us a glass of wine and place them on the coffee table. 

I can't help the smile the spreads on my face. 

Peeta brought over things that are just “us.” 

Finally we're seated for a conversation.

“How's your dad?” I ask. 

“Better. Much better, he’s at home. His wrist is in a cast, knee surgery is scheduled for next week. I’ll go back home for that.” Peeta says, his eyes won’t meet mine. 

I nod and force a smile, I'm glad Will has made improvements, it's just a painful reminder that I couldn't be there for him. “I’m happy to hear he’s doing so much better."

He pauses and takes a nervous breath before asking, “Katniss, why did you leave early?” 

I make eye contact with Peeta then, looking at my glass, I down the whole thing and pour myself another. 

Okay, now I'm ready for this conversation. 

“It was real for me, Peeta, and you rejected me. I just needed a little time to bounce back. Don't look at me like that, you don't need to soften the blow okay?” I take another sip.

“WHAT?!” Peeta looks confused.

“I don't know when it happened, but it became real for me. I wasn't pretending. I thought it was changing for you too. Christmas was just. Wow.” I sigh, then shake my head to clear my thoughts. 

“It hurt to be rejected. Why are you surprised by this?” I ask, drawing even more confusion between us. Clearly I've missed something?

He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. I flinch, but I can't escape his gaze, or that look in his eyes. It's mesmerizing. 

“When I hear your phone call, I thought... Well, I heard you say we were ‘just friends, that's it.’ I didn't really listen to anything else after that.” He's looking down now, sorrowful. 

I remember saying that to Johanna, out of context that sounds cold. It all makes sense now. The look on my face must reveal my thoughts.

His hand clasps mine tighter. 

“So, when I said ‘I want to be with you?” I ask, sceptical. 

“It didn't even register. God, Katniss, when you left, I just felt a hole in my heart. Then my dad told me what he heard. Your whole phone call. I didn't realize… I just didn't...” Peeta rubs his face and tries to organize his thoughts. 

“First of all, you met my parents? I didn't have the greatest example of a fulfilling relationship growing up. I didn't know it could be that great. Dating you, having you as mine, even just for pretend was the greatest relationship I've ever had. You're smart, funny, sexy as hell, and we work so well together. I didn't think I deserved you. I didn't think I could have such a great match for me. Rye talked some sense into me. He explained that it was us together that made this amazing. That we're two pieces of a puzzle that fit together.” Peeta explains. 

I'm listening very intently with every word, until he mentions puzzle pieces and my thoughts turn less innocent. Focus. 

He smirks and leans in to whisper. “That I was an idiot, and I was denying both of us something amazing, but being stubborn and wounded wasn't doing either of us any good.” 

I just stare, unable to speak. 

Peeta brushes some hair out of my eyes and smiles. “I think I knew after our very first kiss. I was scared to fall so hard, tried to bury my feelings. I thought you were better off with someone else. I didn't know what it meant for you. When I saw you in college at Gale’s party I thought maybe that was my second chance, you know? After the pictures of us were floating around, I saw the look on your face, embarrassment. I thought I really screwed up, so I gave you space. Being your friend was safer.”

Peeta pulls me closer with a serious look on his face. “But now,” he continues with a lower raspy voice, “I can't let this, us, go. Not this time. I think I'm in love with you, Katniss Everdeen,” Peeta whispers. 

Then, as if he can't hold back any longer, he leans in to take my breath away in a fiery kiss.

I lean in for another. 

Peeta pulls away and looks scared. He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “I want always, Katniss. I want a future with you. You're it for me. If you don't think... If you don't feel the same… It might destroy me.” He looks down and sighs. 

The past week flashes in my mind. The look in his eyes while we were ice skating. Hugging shirtless Peeta after the cocoa spilled. The longing for his kiss I felt after our snowball fight. Peeta's hand in mine as he gripped it for strength at the party. The way he held me after I broke down crying after missing my father. All our laughter. All the games. The antics. The longing I felt for Peeta Mellark when I thought I had lost him.

Rye’s words echo “I love her, I want her, and I need her. For the rest of my life. Always.” And “It’s in all the little things you aren't saying.” 

Am I already there? 

“Take some time to think about it?” He asks.

I nod.

Peeta stands and walks away. 

For one heartbreaking instant, I think he's going to leave, but instead he walks to the brown bag he brought.

“In the meantime, grab your swimsuit, Everdeen.” Peeta gives me a mischievous look, before pulling two super soakers and swim trunks out of the bag.

“I checked, the pool is open. We're going swimming!” He grins and pushes me to the bedroom, and heads to my bathroom to change. 

In my head, I replay every teenage fantasy of Peeta I ever had as I rifle through my clothes.

“There it is!” I say to myself. 

I step out of my bedroom wearing my hunter green bikini, a different one than what I wore in my youth, but the sentiment remains. I barely have the door shut before Peeta pins me to the door and kisses me with such intensity that I'm dizzy. 

Then, he hands me a super soaker and links our hands as if he didn't just blow my mind. 

The grin on my face can't be contained. 

As we walk through the hall to the pool, towels and his own super soaker in his other hand, Peeta asks “So would this be our second or third date?” Smiling at me, eyes twinkling.

I try minimize the blush on my face.

“Well, if ice skating was our first date, then would the party be our second date?” I ask, squinting at him. 

“Hmm, seems lousy. What about Christmas, was that a date?” He says, kind of proud of himself. 

“Well, with how the evening went, it kind of felt like a date.” I wink at him with a grin. 

“So, this could be considered our third date then? Interesting.” Peeta says wiggling his raised eyebrows, as he playfully bumps my hip. We've reached the pool yet Peeta's eyes rove up and down my suit.

I can't hold back my laughter. 

“Cool it lover boy.” I turn my water gun on him and squirt him square in the chest. 

Peeta unleashes his own super soaker and it’s war. We laugh and chase, and dodge. I drop the water gun and attempt to wrestle Peeta into the pool, but he's a worthy opponent. Peeta has me wet in under a minute. 

When we come up for air, my arms are wrapped around his neck. I can't take my eyes off this beautiful man.

I rest my forehead on his. Peeta plays with the end of my braid as we wade in the shallow end.   
I'm brought back to the first time we found each other like this; dazed teenagers in Madge's pool. 

“You might think I'm pushing this too fast, but we've known each other since we were kids. I think I fell for you that summer before College. Imagining my future without you, Katniss, is devastating.”

He paused thoughtfully, stroking my back gently. “You're going to see that a long term committed relationship is exactly what you want, and that we're better together. Once you realize that, I'm never letting you go and I'm going to marry the shi--,” I cover his mouth with my fingers. 

“Shhhh. Peeta, I think I'm already there.” I stop Peeta's rambling. He nips at my fingers playfully, then his eyes widen and his jaw drops. 

“It was Rye, actually. Hell, we need to give him a gift basket or something… Anyway, I was talking to your favorite brother and he told me about his own decision to marry Lila. How the look on my face said everything. He was right. Peeta, I'm in love with you. I-I never thought I wanted those things, but I want always with you.” I look at him seriously cupping his cheeks in my hands. 

Peeta just stares back in disbelief, smiling as if I've given him the very sun. 

When he kisses me I hope he never stops. 

Somehow, we've made it to my bedroom. I'm dizzy with the hum of my body’s response to Peeta's kisses.

“When I first saw you in a swimsuit I wanted to touch you like this,” I murmur my confession. 

I can't keep my hands from roving over every inch of his broad chest, muscular sculpted back, rippling abs. This gorgeous man is in a swimsuit in my bedroom. 

“You have no idea how many fantasies I had of you like this in that bikini in my bed,” Peeta pants in my ear. The low husky tone his voice has taken does delicious things below my swimsuit bottoms. His hands are exploring me also, but some of it doesn't register. 

I'm so excited by every inch of Peeta I can see. My fingers inch their way down his rippling abs, past the V of is torso to the waistband of his swimsuit and I tease the sensitive skin just inside while I suck Peeta's neck. I'm following this happy trail. 

Hearing him sigh and pant in anticipation drives me wild. 

I find his lips because I just crave his mouth on mine. Tongues collide and dance. 

Peeta turns us over and his kisses trail down my neck and collarbone. I'm so delirious with the sensation I don’t realize my top being untied until I feel lips trailing to suck my nipple.

“Ah, they're perfect, Katniss!” Peeta whispers against my skin. 

The panting and moaning that follow the sensation are so involuntary they don’t even sound like me. I didn't know I could make such a guttural noise. I am deliciously turned on and aware of every movement of Peeta's body on mine. My legs wrap around his waist in search of friction, more of… something.

I can't get enough of Peeta. I'm starving for him. 

My hands find his muscular round legs and wander upward. He's so manly and chiseled. 

Normally, I'm much more vulnerable and self conscious with my body, but I'm so overcome with wanting Peeta that it doesn't even concern me. 

Finally, I can't handle how much I want him. I rip down his swim trunks. Little peeta springs fourth and he is glorious. The sight of Peeta naked takes my breath away. Clearly I had been drinking too much on Christmas to appreciate this masterpiece before me. My mouth waters. 

I think I startle him with my aggression, because he's looking at me with raised eyebrows, jaw hanging, as I rid him of his suit. 

I tease and kiss a trail up each thigh until I just can't take the anticipation of making Peeta moan. With the first swip of my tongue all the way up, Peeta’s breath hitches. I make eye contact as I continue to lick and suck. His eyes wide and dilated. Deep blue pools of desire. This man is SO sexy. I speed up my ministrations. 

Peeta is panting and moaning something like my name. He pulls one of my legs, spinning me in a circle. I squeak and readjust. I realize the purpose of this when I feel Peeta’s magical hands trailing up my legs to my hot core, rubbing my slick folds and teasing me until hot kisses roam up my legs. 

I stop my movements to catch my breath only to have it stolen away by Peeta's tongue lapping up my folds before plunging into my center. I moan and hum deep in my throat, my mouth waters, I suck and bob, teasing and “giggling his bells.” 

Continuing my mission of blowing Peeta's... mind. 

“Ooooooh, Katniss!” Might be the sweetest words of pleasure, stirring me to the very core. I'm shaking. 

This isn't going to take much longer for either or us. The pressure Peeta adds, along with his moaning, sends me over the edge, reeling with waves of pleasure. I swallow as Peeta shouts. With the stars behind my eyelids, Peeta's blinding smile and blue eyes flash. Tears come to my eyes as I sing Peeta's name. 

He lifts me into his arms and holds me tight while I catch my breath. Gentle kisses on my neck are accompanied with words of affection and adoration. 

Our eyes meet, and I see the most intense look of love reflected in Peeta's eyes. As if to confirm that what I'm reading in his eyes is true, he kisses me passionately, pouring out the love he feels with a pressure and intensity that leave me dizzy. 

His hands and eyes continue to explore and study my every curve and dip. 

“God, I didn't know I could feel like this. Katniss, you're amazing!” Peeta whispers. 

“Takes two to tango. Do you know how sexy you are?” My voice comes out more raspy then I expected. I smile and play with his hair. 

He shakes his head and grins, eyes twinkling, like a boy who just opened his Christmas presents. 

His hands are wondering between my legs again. When my breath hitches, he studies my face. Asking permission. “We can stop here if you want.” he whispers, trailing kisses down my neck.

I smile and shake my had no, I don't want to stop. With a mischievous look, I do my best imitation of his own smirk, I tell Peeta “The only sleigh I'll be riding is--,” 

I'm cut off by his lips. We're laughing between kisses.

A brief contraception conversation settles it. 

Our other encounters have been rushed and lustful. This is more meaningful and vulnerable. I bite my lower lip, our eyes connect and say all the little things we mean to each other without words. This is love. 

Peeta leans up to capture my lips. Electric surges through my whole body from where our lips connect. His eyes widen. He felt it too. I settle myself over him and spread my legs. Peeta gets that smoldering look. The crackle in the air is electric. Anticipation. 

As if something has snapped, Peeta is all over me. Igniting me. With every touch, every caress, it's as if sparks fly. A smoldering fire builds. I fist Peeta, aline us and slink down. With our first connection my breath is taken away. Peeta's deep voice moaning my name sends a buzz through me that makes me dizzy. Our movements build. It's a blur of rhythmic rocking, waves of ecstasy, moans and sighs. I can't even focus on just one sensation.

The things Peeta's body can do!

Our loving making is passionate and consuming. Evoking deeper feelings of love I didn't know I had buried within me. Peeta rocks my world again, buried deep inside me. The connection felt something like introducing my other half. Feeling a wholeness I can't even describe, leaving me enlightened. The world as I know it has changed. 

“I love you.” Peeta whispers in my ear.

After 3 rounds of the best sex of my life, maybe the best the world has ever seen? Peeta and I are emotionally and physically drained. We curl into each other's arms and fall fast asleep. 

“Woah, Katniss. Are you doing this in your sleep?” Peeta whispers, amazed and amused. 

I open my eyes to find I've been dry humping the man in my bed. Emulating the dream I was having of making love to Peeta. 

“Uh, yeah.” I answer, embarrassed as I pull into a more innocent cuddle in Peeta's arms, trying to keep the heat flowing through my body under control.

Peeta seems thrilled. He kisses my cheek and sighs. “Oh no, don't be embarrassed! You're a wild one, Everdeen. I thought I was dreaming.” 

We slip back into a blissful sleep.

I wasn't ready to elope like Peeta wanted to, but I understand after everything he went through with Cashmere, and our fake relationship, why Peeta wanted a long term commitment. 

On New Year’s Eve, Peeta took me for hot chocolate in town, and we strolled through the displays of ice sculptures carved by local artists. I stopped at a more plain looking one. It was a question, written in cursive on an ice block. Four words. 

I smiled. “Peeta look! Someone's going to…”

I turn and find my blue-eyed Peeta, down on one knee, holding his grandmother's pearl ring meant for a very important finger. 

With tears in his eyes, he poured out his heart out to me, beautiful words of love, memories and laughter together, words of a future, of always. 

I realized he probably already had my heart. From our very first kiss, I was a goner for Peeta Mellark.

Words are Peeta's thing, not mine so, as he waxed poetic, my answer was: “You had me at cookies and super soakers.” 

He looked confused, then laughed.

“Is that your way of saying yes?” Peeta’s words are teasing but his eyes are full of hope and apprehension.

I ruined his sweet romantic moment, I had better bring it back. I sigh and pull back the mask of humor I wear as armor.

“I want forever with you Peeta,” I answer surprising myself. 

We embraced and kissed passionately. 

As Peeta placed the ring on my finger, the crowd I didn't realize had gathered around us started cheering. I tried to ignore a few flashes of cameras --one turned out to be Peeta's that he had Thresh take. 

I turn to face the crowd and I’m met with familiar faces. Thresh, Rue and Prim’s smiles first as they were in on the plan. Then my best friend and his beaming new fiance, standing next to my roommate, elbowing Annie who's wiping tears out of her eyes while Peeta's best friend gives a thumbs up with a mile wide grin. 

My family is all here to celebrate. We all agree to go to the Hob down the street for soup and sandwiches. 

Peeta laces our fingers together and strokes the pearl with the thumb of his other hand. Then, he looks up at me with a smile that makes me go weak in the knees. 

The entire world fades away as I'm taken captive by his blue eyes that speak depths of love and years of adventures ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing your comments! Please leave one if you liked this?   
> I do have some ideas for additional chapters to this AU if there's interest?   
> Thank you for reading and sticking with me!


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